This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
