The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
