So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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