Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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