Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
