I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
