my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
