i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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