We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
