I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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