I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
