This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
