I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
