i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
