i think my mom watched the whole time
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
