Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
