Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
