yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
