Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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