Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
