I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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