I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
