Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
