She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Randomize
