I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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