do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
