Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
