This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im holly from the hills drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
