Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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