This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
