Non-Jews are for practice
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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