New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We need to rekindle our bromance
no you cant smoke seaweed
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
