Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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