Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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