I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
