She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
