Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
