For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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