haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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