I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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