I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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