all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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