she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
