is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
