i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
