You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
