too bad you live with your parents still
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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