I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how can u be prego again
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My vagina just recognized that song.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
