I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
