i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
